Hitting doesn't solve everything

"I was told
The average girl begins to plan her wedding at the age of 7
She picks the colors and the cake first

By the age of 10 
She knows time,
And location

By 17 
She’s already chosen a gown
2 bridesmaids
And a maid of honor

By 23 
She’s waiting for a man
Who wont break out in hives when he hears the word “commitment”
Someone who doesn’t smell like a Band-Aid drenched in lonely
Someone who isn’t a temporary solution to the empty side of the bed
Someone
Who’ll hold her hand like it’s the only one they’ve ever seen

To be honest
I don’t know what kind of tux I’ll be wearing
I have no clue what my wedding will look like

But I imagine
The women who pins my last name to hers
Will butterfly down the aisle
Like a 5 foot promise

I imagine
Her smile
Will be so large that you’ll see it on google maps
And know exactly where our wedding is being held

The woman that I plan to marry
Will have champagne in her walk
And I will get drunk on her footsteps

When the pastor asks
If I take this woman to be my wife
I will say yes before he finishes the sentence
I’ll apologize later for being impolite
But I will also explain to him
That our first kiss happened 6 years ago
And I’ve been practicing my “Yes”
For the past 2, 165 days

When people ask me about my wedding
I never really know what to say
But when they ask me about my future wife
I always tell them
Her eyes are the only Christmas lights that deserve to be seen all year long
I say
She thinks too much
Misses her father
Loves to laugh
And she’s terrible at lying
Because her face never figured out how to do it correctly

I tell them
If my alarm clock sounded like her voice
My snooze button would collect dust
I tell them

If she came in a bottle
I would drink her until my vision is blurry and my friends take away my keys
If she was a book

I would memorize her table of contents
I would read her cover-to-cover
Hoping to find typos

Just so we can both have a few things to work on


Because aren’t we all unfinished?
Don’t we all need a little editing?
Aren’t we all waiting to be proofread by someone?
Aren’t we all praying they will tell us that we make sense
She don’t always make sense
But her imperfections are the things I love about her the most

I don’t know when I will be married
I don’t know where I will be married
But I do know this
Whenever I’m asked about my future wife

I always say
…She’s a lot like you

— Rudy Francisco (via katcossio)

(via like-red-ash)

sollux:

the best part about blogging is that no one actually knows if youre naked or not

(Source: manaphy, via perks-of-being-chinese)

missmollypond:

GUYS GUYS GUYS

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY WAS LITERALLY WRITTEN BY A FEMALE ROCKET SCIENTIST

SHE’S THE FIRST WOMAN TO EVER WRITE A MARVEL MOVIE

WHY IS THIS NOT GETTING TALKED ABOUT

(via gaaaaaaaaaambit)

alextimmons:

poco-loki:

thecorruptedquietone:

prongsmydeer:

Plot twist: The next companion is a normal girl/boy who only dies once in their lifetime and has no remarkable back story but he thinks they’re wonderful because they are human and the Doctor needs reminding that you don’t need to be a mystery to be remarkable. 

#and the doctor never has to kiss them or sexualize them at all #in fact they are not even attracted to the doctor

so basically we want Donna back

image

(via doismellfandoms)

“I’m an adult, but not like a real adult”
— anyone between the ages of 18 and 25 (via prettyboystyles)

(via mymindrebels)

biteme-derekhale:

aba-douche:

sam-crashed-the-impala:

out of all the things cas has said this is my favorite 

this is absolutely the best thing anyone has ever said on this show

I like this better than the actual answer

(Source: castivl, via doismellfandoms)

roymaes:

the greatest plan in history

(via doismellfandoms)

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer"

(via deanwinchestersheart)

snarg:

truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like

(via slipknaughty)

postgenderfemmerobot:

first word of your first tumblr url and the last word of your current url = your superhero name

(via hxcfairy)

I’m waiting for my kid by the playground to get out of school…

get-your-ass-in-the-impala:

get-your-ass-in-the-impala:

get-your-ass-in-the-impala:

And he just ran by with plastic Cap shield screaming, “Take down Hydra!” with about eight other kids chasing him. 

Omg, he just skidded to a halt and back tracked and said, “Hey mom!” And he plucked one little girl from the cluster of boys and said, “This is Black Widow!”

That was so Steve Rogers it hurt. 

image

(via gabriels-moose)

mytra-fallen-angel:

causeallidoisdance:

vegantina:

sizvideos:

Watch it in video

Follow our Tumblr - Like us on Facebook

glorious mind fuck 

for the love of god please use a proper binder and not an ace bandage psa

WHOA HOT DAMN!!! TAKE MY BODY!

(via gryffindorsphoenix)

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

(via allonsyforever)

bckybarnz:

electro-monk:

image

Well it’s not what I was looking for but you have my attention.

image

quite possibly the most beautiful paragraph i have ever read

(via gabriels-moose)